Is it really true that "all good things must come to an end? It feels like it's very true during right now. For the past several years, my family and I have gone to an amazing Christ-centered 12step program at a local church that has changed our lives forever for the better. While I am so grateful for our times there, that program recently ended and I'm left leaving robbed and confused. And this is not the first time this has happened. For many years, I was a youth and music minister at a church that had a dynamic youth ministry program. though these two programs were very different, they were similar in that they were both amazing, international programs that had pretty revolutionary methods of reaching people and bringing them closer to Christ and each other. I loved both of these programs dearly and they were both pretty major life components for me for quite some time.
So what does all this mean? It could just mean that I'm putting too much into a program and not being open enough to just following God outside of a structured setting that has become a comfort zone. I can totally accept that this might just be me being rigid and resistant to change, which equals CONTROLLING. I like to think I'm not like that, but I don't that I'm being totally honest if I can't admit that. However, I still don't understand why it seems to be a pretty common thing (based on my experience and the accounts of others that I go to church with) to happen. So, I wonder: is this some kind of "tower of babel" effect where God tears the ministry down because people thought they could make their own way to reach Him?
I have another theory that, sometimes, God allows a church or ministry to go through a trial that will eventually cause the people to be dispersed and will lead to that ministry being spread to other churches through those people when they relocate. It brings to mind the scripture John 12:24- "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." That's a great scripture and I can see how that happened at the youth ministry program I worked with. That was a great program that did not last, but inspired and motivated other programs in the area to re-vamp their ministries and that work and dynamic ministry continues on years later. Unfortunately, the church where it all began no longer even has a youth ministry program. Sad face. No really! Super. sad. face. LOL. Or COL (cry out loud)
My least favorite theory for why these great programs end is the "If it ain't broke, fix it anyway" theory. I'm fully aware that this is judgmental theory, but sometimes I just feel like its just people in leadership are making changes based on personal preference. To be honest, I just don't always think that's always a good enough reason to take away a program that was loved by and reached so many. In my ministry style, I'd way rather make changes by adding as opposed to taking away.
Oh well, that's probably why I'm not in charge of anything.
Anyway...I guess I'm just grieving the loss of such a regular and meaningful part of our lives. This really isn't a complaint; just an exploration of what seems to be a recurring dynamic that is not on any of my favorite lists in life. I know that Jesus is not limited to a program and I can probably just choose to have a better attitude. This takes me back to step one: Realize I'm not God. The very situation that I'm grieving might be a necessary step in my journey or the catalyst in pushing me forward to a new chapter in my life. When I find myself wishing I could change or control something, it's always a red flag. I have to accept that this is not something I can change and continue to ask God for the wisdom to follow where He is leading.
In the meantime, I will choose to be grateful for all the good that God has done for me and thousands of others through both of these programs: lives changed, souls saved, joy, lots of laughter, a huge family of believers to lean on and journey with, a cadre of heroes to look up to, and countless other funny stories, beautiful moments, and answered prayers. I will cherish these memories always and NOTHING has been wasted.
In closing, I'd like to share the full version of the Serenity Prayer, which is a great reminder that I'm not in control, that I need God to do for me what I cannot do for myself, and that I can find peace through acceptance-regardless of how life changes and what my surroundings are. Best. Prayer. Ever.
"God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next."
Amen.
Attributed to Reinhold Neibuhr
