It's been a rough week with the kiddos and I felt inspired to look for the
silver linings in raising my kids-and feeling convicted that I don't do that
more often. Sometimes I feel discouraged and realize (face palm) that I need to
look at things with a different perspective; to be grateful about anything I
can find.
When I'm struggling with my parenting, I think I'm looking at things on the
surface. Then, God reminds me that I have to go DEEPER. Also, I think it's all
too common that I don't think of my kids as being very deep (I can't imagine
why LOL). However, they ARE deep, spiritual, and beautiful individuals that
just don't know how to verbalize all that yet. So...I made a list. Here goes:
1) If my kids are bothering me...
They love me! They want to be with me! They want me to put my phone down and
have fun...while they are still young. I miss so much and the years are passing
by quickly.
2) If my kids tell me they hate me...
They feel safe to tell me that. They are releasing feelings (which aren't
really "hate" anyway-just SO powerful and confusing) that they can't
express any other way and they feel safe to release the worst feelings they
have to me. That also tells me that they believe I can handle it and that I will
still love them. (It’s been a long time on this one, but I just wanted to throw
that out there in case anyone else is dealing with that.) So, when you're kid
says they hate you, it's kind of a compliment-you know...tell yourself
that...through the tears.
3) If my kids are dangerous, daring, and unafraid...
They might be heroes some day! When other people are standing back with
trepidation, they will be running in and saving lives. They might be
firefighters, police officers, mountain climbers, or something less dramatic,
maybe? They might find a way to lead others where they might not go themselves.
They will be courageous and not back down from what might intimidate less
courageous people! (At least that's what I'm hoping.)
4) If my kids struggle with their faith...
They are SEARCHING! And what's even better-they aren't just imitating my
faith. This is a tough one, you guys, but I think some kids need more freedom
to question and find their own way. And more important-without. fear. of.
rejection. They need to be loved regardless of what they believe!
5) If my kids are mad at me...
Sometimes that just means I'm a jerk. True story. But-sometimes it means
that I'm making decisions for their own good. Even if they don't like those
decisions! Rumor has it that they might thank me later. I'm gonna take a stab
in the dark and guess that it will be MUCH later. As much as I'd like to think
that good parenting will result in children that think I'm awesome, sometimes
the only reward I will see TODAY is the peace that I did the next right thing
for them. Whether they like it or not!
6) If I'm tired...
That means we fit in a lot of living in today. We worked hard. We played
hard. And we loved a lot. And it may not have felt very loving, but that IS
love. It's not always easy. Or pretty. Or fun. Sometimes it's just living,
working, sacrificing, arguing, making up, etc. That's good stuff you guys.
Being a parent and being a kid ain't always easy, but it's one of the most
important relationships in the world-and we don't quit because it's hard and we
are tired. Has anyone ever told you that you don't stop fighting a gorilla when
you're tired? You stop when the gorilla is tired!
So...Parenting. The marathon that feels like it will never end. But it does.
And I don't want to waste another moment. And it does pay off. I see glimpses
of it from time to time. Beautiful moments. Brief insights into the people they
are becoming. Tiny moments that I know are linked directly to the eternal. This
is what the kingdom of God is made of.
If you have any silver linings, I'd love to hear them.
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